In the Nigerian society, it is not uncommon to hear sad tales of the woman being the one who is unhappy partner because despite doing her best to ensure a peaceful home, her husband keeps making her life a misery.
These stories are all around us: wife is submissive, prayerful, the best cook, the best cleaner etc but all that one doesn’t concern husband as he beats her, verbally abuses her and cheats on her with every available lady.
It is also in this same Nigerian that the statistics of paternity fraud is the highest in the world making you wonder if Nigerian married women are really the hapless victims they portray themselves to be.
The original purpose of marriage was to for a man and woman to legalise their union in the sight of God and man. In the past (and still in the present), a man could marry as many women as he desired and in certain cultures, a woman could marry as many men as she desired. These days, more people live in a monogamous marriage.
Infidelity and adultery seems to be the order of the day in today’s marriages yet not everyone is unhappy in their marriage. For some, they are genuinely happy with their partners while others have had to resort to other “solutions” just so they can get their peace.
One of these is the solution of an open marriage. This could result from so many reasons ranging from boredom with each other to the partners just wanting to experience their sexual desires with other people.
Believe it or not, open marriages are very much a thing in Nigeria and the only reason you hardly hear about it is because the couple and their partners are usually discreet about their business.
In an open marriage, the one is fully awarethat the other is cheating (and with whom) and is unbothered because he is doing the same as well. They have talked about it and agreed on it.
“Feel free to see others, just don’t bring them into this house and I won’t as well.”
“No matter what, do not belittle me in any way in the presence of your lover.”
An observer may wonder why they don’t just get divorced so they can be free to date whoever they will. But you see, these are people who will rather die than leave their marriage because of certain benefits only the marriage can give them.
And so, they go about having extramarital affairs with other people while still holding a firm grip on their marriage.